How I Financially Prepared to be a Single Mother

My commercial headshot
from my acting days...

When I was younger I always imagined when I was pregnant that I would be happily married to an amazing man. I imagined that we would be a super cool couple who had awesome jobs, a lot of fun friends and were always off jet setting on fun adventures. I also imagined us as financially responsible. I know – such a sexy imagination… In my head we would own at least three properties between the two of us before we started having children. Two investment properties and one home that we lived in.

Well – flash forward years later and although I don’t have an awesome husband I do have an awesome co-parent (my Baby Daddy!), an awesome job, a lot of super fun friends and until this niblet showed up in my belly I certainly enjoyed my fair share of adventures. (I supposed this is an adventure unto itself!) AND… I will own three properties before this baby is born… on my own!

It wasn't always this like this though - only 5 short years ago I had a job that paid very little, tons of debt, no savings and was not on a very good trajectory. This is my history of how I turned my life around, and while I didn't know it at the time, set myself up perfectly to be a single mother. I have divided this into two chapters - the history of how I got back on track and then a post dedicated to where I am now. To anyone who has ever had to re-invent themselves I hope my story proves that it is possible!

Chapter 1 – Setting the Stage
I have chosen to be personal with my details here... this is obviously not a template that applies to everyone, but if sharing my details helps anyone out there also trying to get back on track, then mission accomplished!

While I spent my early twenties trying on many different hats,  I spent my late twenties/early thirties getting really serious and making up for lost time. In 2007 at the age 28 I had three goals:

1. Get a job as a marketing associate in a large financial or real estate company making at least $50K a year
2. Get out debt (I was seriously over my head in debt)
3. Purchase my first multi-family property by the age of 31 (I figured three years was a solid timeline). Why mutli-family property? Because you live in one unit and have someone else live in the other unit paying you rent and contributing to your mortgage. In the right set-up you may not have to pay much out of your own pocket at all!

Goal #1 – Get a good paying job

CBRE Corporate Photo

The culmination of all my different jobs in my early twenties gave me a richly diversified resume. I was hired in April of 2007 at CBRE Investors, a commercial real estate investment firm, making a tad more than my desired amount. Goal #1 – achieved!

Goal #2 – Get out of debt

Getting out debt was going to be more difficult. While $50k is a decent amount of money California is an expensive state to live in. So I followed a book my dad gave me, “The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me.” I learned three things from this book: money is controlled by your attitude towards it, save at least 10% of what you take home, make money in the margins (side jobs). So, I started a fairly lucrative side job as a pet sitter, Kats Critter Care, and I stayed in people’s homes watching dogs, cats, parrots, fish and bunnies. I also started a resume writing company which I could do in tandem with the pet sitting and I started tutoring Microsoft office suite. I was making an extra $400 - $800 a month doing all of these. I would take the money and save it up until I had a solid chunk and then I would call one of my pesky creditors and we would agree on a settlement. It took me a little over 2 years but I paid off ALL of my debt. Goal #2 – achieved!

The Cabin or Man Cave I lived in
for two years!

Sidebar: What’s really important to note here is that as my salary increased – my cost of living did not. I kept my overhead painfully low because I knew I had an endgame and it was worth it. I did not have a posh apartment – in fact, I lived in a man-cave attached to a garage in the backyard of a lovely family in Culver City (all in $700 a month). I drove my little Scion XA which I still drive to this day. I didn't have any credit cards because frankly no one would give me one! I was cash only which meant I had no margin for error. I think everyone should live like this for at least two years in their life. You have to get really good at managing your money and you have to get really skilled at living below your means.

Goal #3 – Purchasing a Multi-Family property

This was going to prove to be more difficult. But here is how I made this happen before my 32nd birthday…

• Step 1 – I got out of debt using my side money and used my salary to start saving money (Goal #2 above)
• Step 2 – An opportunity opened up in the IT department of my company as a Business Systems Analyst. I had always wanted a career in IT because I felt like there was more job stability and upward mobility than in marketing. But I had no experience! I was given an opportunity and I seized it. I researched this position carefully and I knew what the median salary was for this position – it was $10,000 more than I was currently making. I asked for a $20,000 jump in pay to accept the position. We bartered down to the $10,000 increase. Now I was making over $60,000 per year.
• Step 3 – Even though I was a Business Analyst I was taking on many of the responsibilities of a project manager. We were in a hiring freeze – so even though we desperately needed a PM, we could not hire one. This worked to my advantage. Since I had been doing the work, in 2010 I took project management courses, applied and passed the certification exam to become a Project Management Professional through the Project Management Institute. I was a PMP!

Minh and I

Important note: During my tenure as a Business Systems Analyst I met one of the most important people in my life, Minh Le. Minh was a consultant we had hired to help redesign our website. We worked together closely and became good friends. I read a book called “How Remarkable Women Lead”.  One of the things that stuck out to me was that these women had a “sponsor”. A “Sponsor” is a like a mentor who goes one step further – this person actually sticks their neck out for you and helps you advance your career. 

• Step 4 - In 2010 Minh did just this for me, and he helped to get me hired on an exciting project he was consulting on.They actually told me in the interview that my resume alone was not good enough to get this job but that they trusted Minh’s recommendation. That’s what a sponsor does for you!  I was offered a job as a consultant for a digital agency as a business analyst. Minh suggested I throw out a high hourly rate so I could barter my way down – however there was no bartering and they accepted my initial number. I was a 1099 consultant averaging around $10,000 a month.
• Step 5 – Remember how I said I kept my overhead low? Well I need less than $3K a month to live and since I was bringing in $10,000 I was able to save $7000 a month. And save I did!!
• Step 6 – Three months into consulting I was offered a full time job at the same company. I accepted it and was now making about $90,000 a year. This is important and I’ll tell you why – it’s hard to get a mortgage loan as a consultant. It’s much easier as a full time employee.
• Step 7 – I found a four-plex in Long Beach that was renovated, move-in ready and super cute! I was in the perfect position: I had plenty of money in savings, I had a good paying full time job, and I had really low debt to income ratio. Bam! 2010 – 6 months shy of my 32nd birthday I bought my first multi-family property.

Goal #3 – ACHIEVED!!

Mom in front of my awesome fourplex!!!

The Next Post is Chapter 2 – Where I Am Now… Its gets better!