The Abridged Back Story: Why, How and What?!

My and favorite little man, Bailey

Here I am – an attractive professional thirty-something woman who is undeniably SINGLE.  Why am I single – fantastic question!  Oh I have many theories... as do my mother, best friends and life coach... But I suppose that’s a topic for another day.

I have always wanted to be a mother. Always! I have also always wanted to be a successful professional woman. There were times when these goals were distinctly at odds with each other.  And other times when I began to feel like they might balance each other nicely.  The latter of the two is now.

I am a project manager and I am really good at it. I am a problem solver and an effective team builder. I am relentless, enthusiastic and optimistic. It has served me well in my career… not as much in my romantic life. Men are not as easy to project manage as websites, though lord knows I have tried. 

Seeing the writing on the wall I had set a sort of milestone in my head, a line in the sand that if I was not in a serious relationship by a certain date, I would go ahead and take motherhood into my own hands. That age turned out to be 34 years old.

Why 34? 

It’s one part simple math and another part excellent timing. Here’s what I know:

        1. I don’t want to have to kids in my 40s. Nothing wrong with it – I just don’t want to.

        2. I also want to have 2 kids, again, before I’m 40.

Everybody always says, “You have time. You’re so young. You’ll meet the perfect man. Just wait.”  Relationships take time people! Even if I met the perfect man today, at age 34 and it was completely magical and inspiring, it would probably go like this:

         1. We date for a year and then get engaged
         2. We mostly likely get married a year later
         3. even if we started having kids right away I would be at least 37 when the first child is born…

...and that’s if I met the right man TOMORROW!

I decided I wouldn't let this be me...

I have several girlfriends in their 40s that kept waiting for the “perfect man”. That kept feeling like they had time. But facts are facts. It does get harder to get pregnant as you get older and the risks are greater. The risks increase even as young as 35.  I decided rather than continuing to hold out for fate I would do this now. I have a great job. I have well managed investment properties. I’m in good health and I’m happy about where I am in life. This was just really good timing. Don’t misunderstand me - a good man would definitely be an amazing addition, but I’m not going to force it just because I want to be a mother so badly (which is what I realized I had been doing).

I understand it’s not logic that everyone will agree with. But it made sense to me. And it made sense to my support network. It made sense to all of the fabulous women in my life, those with and without children. And it made sense to my ex-boyfriend and baby daddy. Are you ready to meet him?