Meet the Father... or better known as The Baby Daddy

My Baby Daddy and I out having
a good time as per usual!

Have you ever met a guy or gal whose company you enjoyed so much, where good times felt effortless? And then have you tried to seriously date that person and it changed everything? That was me and my baby daddy. We met at a party and we had instant chemistry. We always had so much fun together. But we are different people at our core. Sometimes opposites attract… and sometimes they just make each other crazy.  He is a ridiculously intelligent person who had spent his 20's partying, so he found himself in his 30's realizing it was time to make a change. But change takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. Sometimes too much time.

So we became friends. Really good friends. He became one of my best friends.  I too had found myself at a crossroads in my late twenties - I know what it takes to turn your life around. He asked me to help him. I agreed. As it turns out – he would be helping me too!

Complimenting Stories about My Baby Daddy

Part of the closet my baby daddy
designed & built from scratch

• Everyone one of my friends really likes him. I mean – every one of them. This is super rare. He has such a comfortable, pleasant, engaging demeanor. He is a curious person so he’s interested in what you have to say. He’s disarming so you’re completely at ease with him. And he is really funny so he always makes you laugh. He is the nicest guy around. Parenting Plus: I would love a son or daughter to inherit his wonderful traits. and I know our child will always feel at ease with his/her daddy. 
• I was studying for the GMAT and some of the math problems really stumped me. The explanations in the book were useless – in fact most of them confused me even more. My baby daddy said he could help…  he completely blew me away. He explained all the problems to me so easily that I completely understood them. Parenting Plus: He’s going to be so awesome patiently helping our child with homework! And maybe our child will be better at math than I am!
• While I was out of town with my family he designed and built a custom closet for me.  Then he organized my closet. He has such an amazing eye for space and design. Parenting Plus: I can’t wait to design our nursery together! And I know he will always be doing something fun and creative with our baby. 
• And I have to add this – it’s not a story – but he’s really really good looking. His skin is naturally olive/tan all year long. He has beautiful hazel eyes. Excellent facial symmetry. He’s tall and slender. Parenting Plus: Really good looking children! :-)

So why did we break up? (Rewritten 10/19/12)

• I was so not ready to be in a relationship. I had been through a few back to back years of disappointment, heartbreak, over-compromising and such. I think even if he had been 100% perfect I would have sabotaged it somehow. I didn't realize it at the time but I just needed a break!
• He had a lot changing in his own life that he needed to do. Its really hard on a couple when you meet at a time of intense transition. He was changing from being the party guy to getting serious about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. 
• I am relentless over-achiever (and this is not a compliment to me), so I was kind of hard on him as he was making this transition - pushing him more than he wanted to be pushed. The more I pushed, the more he sort of resisted change. I could see myself being that way, and I could feel the filters of past relationships shaping my reactions in my current relationship. I was afraid of being disappointed like I had been before. 
• It was a relationship weighted down with too much baggage to be successful, his and mine alike. He would have liked to keep trying, but I had to choose to be friends. 

Baby Daddy and I at the
Queen Mary park 

So why chose him as my baby daddy? 

Easy – he's a fantastic human being! Any child on this earth would be lucky to have papa like him. And though we each have traits that frustrate each other, these  are things we balance out. Even though we’re not together we’re still learning from each other.  He’s getting his life in order and learning to relax, heal and let people be themselves a bit more. J

We make great friends and we’ll make awesome co-parents!

Next Post: How I asked and how we drafted our plan and made it happen!