Are Baby Daddy and I in a Relationship again?

A lot of people have been asking me what the nature of my relationship is with Baby Daddy.  Here is the true answer… I have no idea!

Here are a few easy answers to questions:

1. Are we officially a couple? – No
2. Am I seeing other people? – No
3. Do I have an interest in seeing other people? – No
4. Could I see other people? – Up until a month ago I might have said yes… but no
5. Are we monogamous – Technically no, but also technically yes... 

Terry and I celebrating our respective successes....
don't worry - I only had a little wine - Terry finished it gladly!

So what are we?

We’re a non-labeled couple. We’re dedicated co-parents to be. We tell each other we love each other. We do couples things together. We do romantic things for each other.  We argue like couples do sometimes. We encourage each other. We listen to each other. We miss each other when we’re not together. We like each other’s company.

What does he want?

I wish I could get him to write a blog post, but so far he has shied away a bit… plus we’ve both been so busy! But overall I know what he wants – he wants us to be in a committed relationship.

What do I want?

For the first time in my entire life I can admit that I don’t know. I have spent so much time and energy trying to get myself into a relationship with the sole purpose of just having a child. Now that I don’t have to focus on that, I can finally focus on who I really am and what I really want. I can live in a singular moment because I don’t have this crazy biological clock beating me in my face telling me to hurry up because the future is closing in.

So all I can answer right now is how I feel right now – and right now I am really enjoying my life with Terry as it is. We have this unique hybrid of friendship/relationship. He’s not putting any pressure on me and I am so (so) grateful for that.

We’re both succeeding in our lives right now and our drama is fading slowly away so it’s just easy right now. I know it won’t last this way forever, but it’s this way now and I’m enjoying it – so let’s not jinx it! [Knocks on wood…]

Baby Daddy and I Pick a Last Name

Ok – so here might be one little bone of contention between us. The last name.

Terry and I as Sheldon
and Amy for Halloween

Typically we’d be married. I’d have his last name. Our son would have his last name. But this is not typical. We’re not married. In this rather unique scenario I am the primary, if you will. I was the primary person with this whole crazy idea. I will be the primary guardian.  I will have primary fiscal responsibility.

On the other hand, this is Terry’s son. He didn't sign on to just be a sperm donor, we’re co-parents. While the bulk of the responsibility will rest on my shoulders he will be a very active participant in this child’s life. And I don’t want to be the complete jerk that diminishes that in anyway.

Quite a dilemma!

We know the first name is Ethan (thanks to all of you that voted) so here are a few possibilities we've lightly discussed.

Middle name equals one of our last names:

• Ethan Byrne McCullough
• Ethan McCullough Byrne

Hyphenated Last Names with middle name:

• Ethan Stuart McCullough-Byrne (middle name = my dad’s name)
• Ethan Stuart Byrne-McCullough
• Ethan Lee Byrne-McCullough (middle name = Terry’s middle name)
• Ethan Lee McCullough-Byrne

Hyphenated Last names with no middle name:

• Ethan McCullough-Byrne
• Ethan Byrne-McCullough

Combined last name (we like this least of all):

• Ethan Stuart McByrne
• Ethan Lee McByrne

I am afraid that this poor kid is going to have to learn to write the longest name in the world! I mean, Katrina Maria McCullough already feels like a gazillion letters!

Leave comments or let me know on Facebook what you think we should do!